NO is a Complete Sentence
I’ll try to keep this short and sweet. The idea here is pretty cut and dry. And yet I’m sure I could go on and on.
“No,” is a complete sentence.
Read that again.
In fact, better yet, let me type that out again.
“No,” is a complete sentence.
It’s pretty self explanatory and yet I think to some degree we all struggle with saying no.
We start the struggle at different points however.
Here’s what I mean:
Some of us cannot imagine saying yes to something. It could be anything. You know that your answer when faced with the question, in your mind is NO. Then somehow when you’re face to face with a person asking you buckle under the perceived pressure.
Some of us will tiptoe around the no, giving other subtle hints that the response is negative. But actually coming out and saying NO is very difficult.
Some of us can't imagine what it is to say no to anything. We are “yes” people; our schedules, stress level, bank account, mileage, hours of rest all reflect it. And even though you’d like to limit what you’re doing and where you’re going you just can’t say NO.
Some of us are so afraid of what might happen uttering the response no, that we have no boundaries, no space and truly no one knows who we are due to seemingly being open to anything.
No is a complete sentence.
If you don’t have time, if you aren’t interested, if you can’t, if it doesn’t serve your goals, if it doesn’t make sense for you personally, professionally, for your family. Let me tell you right now, it’s okay to say no.
It’s okay to say no because you morally object. It’s okay to say no because you don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s okay to no because you’re all booked up. It’s okay to say no because you don’t want to. It’s okay to say no.
As a parent you HAVE to say no. You have to set boundaries . You have to have expectations. It’s for your children's safety, health, mental well-being, etc… And let me remind you that just becauseYOU have children doesn’t mean that YOUR safety, health, mental well-being, etc… are no longer valid… it is. Maybe even more so because you must be of sound mind and heart and soul to parent well.
It’s okay to say no, we aren’t doing anything with friends this weekend. No, you may not meet up with that group. No, that’s not a safe location. No, I don’t like the sound of that.
We very early on laid out lots of rules for hanging out with friends. Not because we wanted to say no all the time or because we wanted to be a killjoy. But our job as parents is to raise and protect them, get them to adulthood with as few crises as possible with as much sense as we’re able. It’s okay to say no because you’ve had a busy week. It’s okay to say no because you wanted to spend time with them. It’s okay to say no because you’re tired. Part of your job as a parent is to teach them to consider other people and their needs as well. It’s okay to consider yourself and say no.
We’ve always used the who, what, where, when model. If you can’t answer one the answer is no until the blanks are filled in. This is also an easy system to put in place and use no as a full sentence. If I don’t get all the info, the answer is no. No explanation necessary.
Speaking of no explanation necessary you are not required to have a reason validated by someone else to tell people no. You don’t need to have a detailed note, a full back story about why you can’t, reason after reason to justify why your answer is no.
It’s not unreasonable on any level to just be able to say no to another person.
It’s also okay to say no to situations or maybe even norms. You can say no to vaccines for your children. You can say no to wearing a mask. You can say no to career moves, family requests, kid’s requests, even your spouse’s requests or friends. You are not bound by any law or vow that your answer always has to be yes.
It might make people mad. They may not understand. They may not like it. And that’s okay too. If irreparable damage was done by saying no that was going to happen one way or another.
Use it wisely, within reason and for the safety, health and mental well-being of yourself - just say no.
No is a complete sentence.
