I made up this silly saying that actually helped me survive this season of newborn and another a few years later, in addition to their siblings and their growing phases.  Now, are you ready to chuckle and roll your eyes??  Before you let it get too hilarious, let me say it worked for me and it might work for you too.

First off we have to identify if the day is really bad or we had a bad moment that is consuming us.  This is the first step in being in control of taking in the information, choosing how to react and controlling our emotions.  Often, if we can say, “that was just a bad moment,” and put it away we can move on and not be controlled by the emotions of a bad moment.  

We’re getting down to the last couple months of 2024 and if you’re anything like me you’re trying to figure out how to ramp up your productivity without breaking your brain. I have a milliion and one things I said I was going to accomplish and while I know some will naturally fall away there are a few I’m really focused on getting done. The Pomodoro Method is a great way to make things happen while not exhausting your mind or taking up all your bandwidth. Let’s talk a little about what it is and why I’m implementing this technique to finish out the year.

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs.  It really is having your heart walking around outside your body.  We tend to err on one side or another: being too lenient or too tough.  It is through intentionality and really knowing who your child is that we find the perfect blend. 

These strategies are ones I’m employing in my own life.  You can keep yourself on track by creating your own checklists, reaching out for accountability or committing a chunk of time daily to areas you know you need to prioritize.  We can only lighten our own burdens by taking action to reverse their effect.  No matter what area is at the top of your list I hope and pray you will take matters into your own hands.  You’re the only one who can do it.  

I can’t even imagine how many trees I’ve wasted writing out to-do lists that never were done.  Not because I wasn’t motivated but the chaos of life just kept getting in the way.  I needed more than a to-do list, more than a reminder on my alarm, more than the guilt that was weighing on me at the end of everyday. I needed to revamp my schedule and figure out something that would work long term and in the face of chaos.

We need a revolution instead of a resolution.  We need to turn away from old habits.  We need to aggressively go after something new.  We need to put our efforts into something that matters to us; a revolution!  Whether that’s a hobby, a business, a side hustle, our family, our friends, our community, nutrition, fitness, mindset… whatever it is the resolution hasn’t worked in the past.  We wouldn’t still be trying to get 2004’s resolution crossed off the list if we were successfully following our same old patterns.

I think as we get older we forget what being a kid is like.  It’s like we’ve been away from Neverland too long and the challenges, the heartache, the work, the stress, the fun, the excitement, exhaustion, the anticipation all hit differently.  The distance between what we call “adult problems” and “kid problems” becomes further and further.  We forget that what we feel and how we respond is relative to our experience.  And that heartbreak is heartbreak whether it’s a lost job or a broken toy. 

It takes practice to stop the worry train from crushing everything in its path but it’s not impossible.  Over time we will get better and better at recognizing the beginning of the worrisome thoughts and be able to replace them with positive action and thoughts.  Don’t get discouraged when you find yourself at the bottom of the worry spiral, simply step out and use the steps to change it. 

The truth of the matter is we have to ASK. We have to be our own advocate. We have to be our own best friend and voice of our destiny. We cannot sit silently by waiting for someone to read our minds or automatically know what we need.

Honestly, in the face of most hardships people, your friends, family, co-workers, don’t know what to say or do to help. Unfortunately, that leads people to do nothing even when their heart is in a place to help. People will avoid discomfort for themselves and they will certainly try to avoid bringing discomfort to another by bringing up or talking about a hardship for someone else. That doesn’t make it right or what anyone wants but it tends to be human nature; the path of least resistance.

I think it’s much less often talked about that we go through several grieving processes just in growing up, moving out, getting married, starting a  career, having kids, maybe changing careers for a second or third time, retiring, grandkids being born and more.  All of these common life experiences are the end of one chapter, or way of doing things that forcibly move you into a new chapter, or new way of doing things.  Even when they are something we really want, letting go of what we know to move into the unknown can be scary and cause us to grieve the changes in our life.   

One of the biggest things I hear from parents of kids that are getting older, think tween, teenage and crossing the bridge to adulthood, is that they feel like they’re drifting apart. Most say it’s just hard to make time to do all things all the time. Some say they know they are having trouble prioritizing. Others say it’s a delicate balance and they always feel like they’re on the short end of the stick. Let’s fix that!

It’s hard to believe that 8 years have passed, my children are literally growing up before my eyes and yet they will always be my babies. The seasons we are in, in life, are rarely appreciated in the moment and yet I urge you to slow down, stop looking forward and looking back and just look around. Where you are is important. Where you are might only last a few months or you might be here for 18 years or more, get acquainted. Whatever it is, it’s worth experiencing to the fullest and getting the most out of every moment because when the season changes, it changes. It’s gone and what’s left are the memories, the feelings and around here we still have the rainbow dishes wobbling in the cabinet… for at least a little while longer.

I read something really interesting the other day. It had to do with punctuation… and the crowd rolled their eyes while wondering how punctuation could be remotely interesting, but hear me out…

It wasn’t about usage, per se. It was more about the inflection that comes with the use of punctuation and how it affects our perception. Particularly the use of periods and question marks. The crazy part is it makes a huge difference if we swap the two around (duh) not only in meaning but also in our thought life. The way a sentence sounds matters… even when it's coming from our own internal monologue.

Money is tight. Time is at a premium. Energy starts to decline as soon as we open our eyes. Sounds kinda bleak… lol… but the truth is there are things we can do to stretch our money, use our time wisely and keep our energy up. Plus, we can have a huge impact on our mental and physical health by the tasks we choose to include in our daily routines.

Some of us can't imagine what it is to say no to anything. We are “yes” people; our schedules, stress level, bank account, mileage, hours of rest all reflect it. And even though you’d like to limit what you’re doing and where you’re going you just can’t say NO.

It’s an election year… that makes us all rejoice and cringe at the same time. The opportunity for change versus the opportunity to keep everything as-is; new versus old, conservative versus liberal, republican versus democrat, red versus blue, elephant versus donkey… the narrative is to pit people against each other. Choose your side and “fight to the death.” Make it all about gender, race, ethnicity, financial wealth, diversity, etc… anything that could separate the people, bring it up, show it off, shove it down the throats of anyone listening.

The reality is we need to get back to “We The People”.

I think as anyone takes their place at their own starting line they begin to have flashes of the people that have lined up before them. The people who have raced well. The people who have become big names. The people who have made a mark. Authors, podcasters, radio show hosts and talk show personalities are on a flipbook in my mind. Their smiling faces flashing as the next one flips over the top. They are legendary. They are famous. They have made a difference in the world.

I want everyone to know that whether you are staring down the barrel of doctor’s reports, visitation schedules or divorce, addiction, loneliness, loss, feeling less than confident in yourself for one reason or another you can find what fills your cup and lean on easy routines to bring you back to life.

After some more careful consideration I have found, in my opinion, what does define and belong to an alpha. Regardless of gender, male or female, being an alpha really is owning the space you’re in. It’s dominating the tasks that are expected of you in your own uniquely created role.