Worrier to Warrior
How to shift your inner worrier to an inner warrior
It recently struck me that I start a lot of sentences with “I’m worried about,” or “I’m worried that,” or “I’m just worried they,” As I sat replaying these sentences and phrases over and over in my head I really started to try to recognize if I was actually worried about these things or if was just a sentence starter. Turns out a lot of it I was actually worried about.
Now, there are lots of things on the planet we worry about; money, safety, health, happiness, friends, family, business, time, if we are being understood, how we make people feel, etc… the list could go on and on from the tiniest things, like switching the laundry to the dryer to the biggest things, like paying the mortgage or fighting health battles. Nobody is saying there aren’t things that deserve to take up space in our hearts and minds, things to be concerned about, but it’s all about how we deal with it.
When I started to break down worry and what it actually does for me my list was small and lacking in any productive areas. Most of the items were things like: losing sleep, being irritable, feeling lost, under or over eating… Not exactly the epitome of resiliency skills.
What is worry?
Verb: give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.
Noun: a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems
If I define it from my own experience in life I would say worry is the state of me being frozen in a downward spiral of thinking how one situation will most definitely ruin another situation. It almost never leads me to an answer or a solution. It almost never makes me feel more at ease or clear minded. And the real truth is, that even when whatever I have worried about comes true, which if we are being honest is seldom, the time I spent worrying, the time I spent playing all the worst case scenarios in my mind over and over, did absolutely nothing to help me when I faced that moment.
You’ll notice when you look up worry in the dictionary there is a verb form of worry. Why is that? Verbs are action words. The first ones you learn in school are ones like skip, jump, hop, run… Worry literally has the word “dwell” in the definition which equals absolutely no movement, it is stagnant.
When I think about dwelling on things the first thing that pops to mind is the Bible verse that states to dwell on what is good and true and right. Unfortunately for me, and maybe for a lot of you, worry is not on the list.
If we’re going to sit around and stew on things the Bible recommends they should be positive things. Not worrying.
How do we take matters into our own hands and stop worry in its tracks?
Here are my ways to reduce worry and have a warrior mindset when facing any situation that “worries” us:
Get out of the spiral.
Here’s what I mean… often when we worry we start down a path with a concern… we start logically: concern, question, mediocre or no answer, another question, a “what if”, a larger “what if”, an even larger “what if” until we have “what if-ed” ourselves into the very worst (and usually most unlikely) situation possible.
We have to get out of that downward what if spiral. A way I’ve found to step out of it and see it for what it is, is to do a worst case, best case scenario. What’s the best case scenario that could come out of this situation… something crazy, outlandish, wild… like out of this scenario I become the most wealthy woman on the planet with movie deals and book writing contracts. Then we go worst case… like the very bottom of the barrel… I’ve lost everything and I’m living out the high school dream we all have of being back in the hallways, naked, with not even a backpack.
Reality will kick in and we have the opportunity to go both of those are right out! The outcome of this situation I’m worried about is going to be some where in the middle. I’m not going to be famous and I’m also not going to be humiliated. Thinking more logically you can assess the other parties in the situation, take what you know about them, divide by the character you possess and what the actual problem is and come to a solution that will at very least put your mind at ease until it’s all able to be truly dealt with.
Shocking ourselves out of the spiral and then logically putting all parties back into the scenario can often help us step out and stop the spiral of downward thinking.
2. Replace the chaos with action.
Worry is often a spinning your wheels type scenario. We’re stuck in the same thought pattern over and over not going anywhere or finding a solution. If the situation we are worrying about was totally controllable we could mitigate any worries, but when it’s not, we can only manage what we have access to.
Instead of letting the chaos of “what if” run the show, get up and do something. Do something to affect the outcome towards the direction you are hoping for. Maybe it’s as simple as writing an email to clarify. Maybe it’s having a direct conversation. Maybe it’s closing out the project you were working on, checking algorithms, researching the topic. Maybe it’s getting out of the problem all together and focusing on another area until the issue can be truly resolved.
3. Find the lie and prove it wrong
Often worry stems from some sort of false belief, understanding, or thought we carry around about ourselves. SInce they’re false we can easily begin to deconstruct these lies and prove to ourselves we have the power to and strength to move through.
If I tell myself that a task is too large, too hard, too intense I may stop myself dead in my tracks. I beat myself before I started. Instead, when a particular task seems overwhelming think back to other tasks that you have accomplished that were also large projects. Think back to when you started, how you got going and then all the way to the end. How you accomplished it and the steps you took from beginning to end to get it done. Walking through the past experiences are proving to yourself that you were able to get it done one step at a time.
Step out of the worry and into logical thinking about how best you could accomplish the task. If you were to give advice to someone else on how to get started and be successful, what would you say? Then apply this to your own journey. You are able to give the advice because you do know the answer. It’s just making yourself do the work. Don’t believe the lie, you can do it.
4. Share
The burden of worry is heavy. The Bible tells us that it’s not for us. The Bible tells us that each day has enough to think about all on it’s own and worrying about tomorrow is a waste of today’s effort and energy.
I encourage you to share your worry with a trusted friend or partner. In sharing, our burden becomes lighter. Sometimes just talking about what we’re worried about takes away some of the power. Hearing out loud the problems, the concerns, the feelings that go along help to actually release them. Talking through it and getting feedback can easily start to make whatever the worry is more manageable. Knowing you have someone in your corner to share with immediately relieves the stress of keeping it all locked inside. Hearing the worry out loud often helps to shed light on the ridiculous parts and streamlines the actions we need to take instead of bouncing all over the place in our minds.
5. Get movement
Fighting off anxiety or worry can sometimes be as simple as doing something with that extra nervous energy. Just intentionally doing a workout, going for a walk, taking an exercise class or playing a sport can burn up some of the extra negative energy. Movement for 30 minutes or more actually releases good endorphins that help unlock happiness, creativity and calm.
When worry comes knocking take 30 minutes and do something to fight back.
If you find worry seems to creep into your daily thought process or you know you have a particularly crazy day start your day with a workout. Get ahead of all the swirling feelings and schedule your workout at the top of the day. Watch your mood and mindset improve. Plus, regardless of what else happens during the day you have that accomplishment to propel you to make motivated decisions instead of dwelling on the “what-ifs”.
BONUS
If you’re a praying person, spend time in prayer. Take your worry to God. He is the ultimate Healer. Open your Bible, copy down a verse or two, use the concordance to find specific verses that you can have on repeat in your heart and your head. God cares about what we care about. He has the perfect plan for the big picture. The things we worry about, He already knows the answers. Trusting Him to lead you, to align your heart with His and spend time actively listening and being with Him will greatly increase your peace. Changing our perspective from needing God to give us what we want to doing what God wants us to do transform our worry into being a warrior for HIM.
In the Bible it talks about putting on the Full Armor of God, Ephesians 6: 10-18. It talks about our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, powers of this dark world and spiritual forces of evil. Now, to me that sounds like a lot to worry about, however, God gives us the armor we need both metaphorically and literally to stand up to and face whatever comes at us. We have no need to worry when we are well armed against our enemy. The passage ends by saying, “…pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kids of prayer and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”Eph 6:18
It takes practice to stop the worry train from crushing everything in its path but it’s not impossible. Over time we will get better and better at recognizing the beginning of the worrisome thoughts and be able to replace them with positive action and thoughts. Don’t get discouraged when you find yourself at the bottom of the worry spiral, simply step out and use the steps to change it. Go for a walk, call a friend, prove the lies wrong with past experience, choose action over dwelling and spend some time praying and searching God’s Word. Be a warrior not a worrier in your own life and those around you.
