“Time is a Construct” but not really…
Time is a construct… but not really… how this silly saying helped me.
Surviving to Thriving in an Uncharted Seasons of Life
When my kids were little, like the year we brought our third sweet baby home, we had 6 and 2 waiting on the other side of the threshold. Just barely school aged and the other still in diapers, there was already a lot of need happening every minute of every day. It started early each morning and went late into the night and throughout the night with diaper changes and feedings. Infants, bless their sweet little hearts, have no realization of time.
I felt mostly like a zombie. I was up all hours of the night and day. We were getting ready for school and driving 30 mins to the drop off line, coming home for another round of breakfast, naps, snuggles, cartoons and playing. There were dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms to scrub and toys to coral. There were groceries to get, errands to run and appointments to keep. And while I loved every minute of it I felt like everything was rushed and always behind. Afterall, I wanted to create this perfect little life and do all the things that everyone expected of me.
I had created a schedule in my head based off cute 30 min TV shows I grew up watching, how the gal down the street ran her house and it seemed to be fine, the “pinterest mom” and my own pressures that I imposed on myself out of virtually no where. Unfortunately, none of those things had taken into consideration the actual life I was living.
I became more and more frustrated that I couldn’t have things crossed off my list before lunch and even more angry that by the end of the day I still had things that had to get done but they had missed their time slot on my to-do list and now we were on to the next thing. I was burning the candle at both ends with no real success except for wearing myself out.
It finally struck me that I really just needed to survive this season of life. I had enough experience that I knew it would change. It didn’t have to be perfect or glamorous but I did have things that needed to get accomplished. So what could I do, what could I tell myself to ease the extra stress I was putting on myself and actually just do my thing?
That was the key, “just do my thing.” I had been so focused on what I should be doing, struggling with made up expectations and trying to reach some status quo that didn’t really exist, I had totally neglected what actually worked for me and my family.
I made up this silly saying that actually helped me survive this season of newborn and another a few years later, in addition to their siblings and their growing phases. Now, are you ready to chuckle and roll your eyes?? Before you let it get too hilarious, let me say it worked for me and it might work for you too.
Because I was up at all hours of the night and day, because I was exhausted and keeping a little bit (or totally out of the norm) of an odd schedule and because my husband was working extraordinarily long hours I started telling myself… “Time is a Construct.”
Let’s be clear, this doesn’t work in all scenarios when you’re having trouble meeting goals or getting things done. Bosses don’t take kindly to employees who clock in late or miss work with the excuse of Time is Construct and there are plenty more examples where this doesn’t work, but you get the picture.
I didn’t take my son to school late and I didn’t miss appointments or totally disregard what the clock said when it came to meal times, nap times or pick up times.
What this saying did for me was allow me to take a nap in the middle of the day while the toddler and baby were napping. It allowed me to start a load of laundry in the middle of the night if I needed to or run the dishwasher when I was getting up for a midnight feeding. It allowed me to do things when it was most convenient, when I was awake, had the energy or felt the urge regardless if this was the time that “most” people were NOT doing these things.
I told myself Time is a Construct as I put dishes away at 3 am. I told myself Time is a Construct when I scrubbed the bathroom into the night because it was the little chunk of time when the kids were asleep and before my husband got home. I went to the store when I had the energy. The routine was to get as much off my list as I could in a 24 hour period. It didn’t matter when it got done, just that it was getting done.
This was my survival technique. *Remember it doesn’t work in all places at all times. Yet for a time it helped me.
This is all to say that you can shift your mindset, step out of what you think you should be doing that’s not working and find something that does. Create a routine that fits your life so instead of just surviving you can start thriving. It also gives you the ability to keep in mind that seasons of life will come and go and what’s important in one season may slip to the background in another.
I would encourage you to not let anyone write your routine for you, tell you what your day should look like or look down on you because what the “norm” is (if there is such a thing) doesn’t work in your house. It’s okay to break the mold. You don’t have to have an explanation more than, “it works for us,” BUT you have to make sure it does in fact work for you.
Still, to this day, I use the Time is a Construct mindset when I’m feeling overwhelmed or the list is long and the time feels short. I get in what I can when I can. And always in the back of my mind I keep the thought that they won’t be little forever tucked away, along with life is only worth living if you're actually living it and not just alive through it. Priorities matter.
So get out there and ignore your clocks!!! Just kidding!! :) Get out there and do what works, what eases your stress all while still accomplishing what needs to get done.
(And one last thought, when you’re choosing between the people you love and mopping the floors, the floors will always be there. They’ll get dirty again almost immediately, but your kids, your husband, your parents, you, will only be this young today, so live and love and get what matters done.)
