Help Yourself

We’ve all heard it. Many times.

In fact we hear it every time we fly. 

“In case of a loss in cabin pressure, please secure your own mask before assisting others around you.”

Yup. That’s the one. 

A simple message that most of us have heard so many times that we tune it out. 

Yet, it is such an important statement that we don;t even realize it. 

There is a legitimacy to this statement. After all, if you are trying to help someone else deprived of oxygen, while you yourself are being deprived of oxygen, chances are you’ll both end up unconscious. 

But if you take the 15  - 30 seconds it takes to secure your mask, you buy yourself and your seat neightbors the opportunity to save their lives as well. 

Here’s the thing, this same principle applies in life in general as well. 

We need to take care of ourselves first SO THAT we can take care of others. 

If you’re like me, chances are you don’t take much time for yourself. You justify it because “how can I be selfish and take me time if my wife and kids need me.”

You’re right. And wrong. 

Here’s the thing. It’s BECAUSE your wife and kids need you that you need to take the time for yourself. 

I’m not talking about going to spa day and getting a massage  and your nails manicured. I’m talking about getting yourself to a place where you are good. 

Because if your role and responsibility is to take care of the your family, to shoulder that burden, to lead from strength and love, you have to be the person who can handle all that. 

If you’re falling apart because you have nothing inside you, then you will have nothing to give. 

This is a message I’ve been hearing from a number of people recently. They’ve been encouraging me, telling me, and pushing me to take time for myself. My wife has been at the forefront of this. 

I’ve been pushing back because…we aren’t where I want us to be financially, I have goals to achieve, projects to complete, I have more I need too give my family, etc. etc. etc. 

I have all teh excuses and reasons in the world. 

I didn’t see how I could justify for myself taking time, when my family, and my wife especially, needs time to. 

And then something incredible happened. 

My mother asked me to take off work to take her to various doctor’s appointments on Monday. Now I knew that I wasn’t actually going to get any work done that day, even if I was putting in Work Remote time. So I needed to get all my Friday work tasks done, as well as my Monday tasks done. 

Well that didn’t happen. So today, the Sunday that I am writing this, I knew I needed to put in the extra hours to get it all done. 

I woke up and was out of the house at 9am to meet with a young guy in the community for coffee. Then I went to the office and plugged away for 4 hours, getting all the Friday tasks done that I had missed, and doing all the Monday tasks that I would have to do. 

I got 75% of the work done. I was satisfied. 

And you know what happened…I got home around 2pm, got the family packed up, got them in the car, went to the park, and spent time with them. 

I was present, interacting, and enjoying the time with my family. 

I wasn’t on my phone. I was listening. I was talking. I was BEING. 

This was a very different version of me than my kids had seen the entire week before and all the Sunday’s prior. 

What was the difference?

I put my oxygen mask on first. 

For me, my oxygen is being productive. With all that I want to accomplish in my life I need to be productive to feel fulfilled. I haven’t yet mastered how to relax. 

But by doing something that would “fill my bucket” I was able to come home and pour into my wife and kids. 

Put your oxygen mask on first, before securing the mask of others. 

You NEED to take care of yourself before you take care of others. 

Don’t believe me…Just do it. 

For your sake and for the sake of your family. 

Breathe.