I Am Woman Hear Me…Roar???

When I was asked to jump in and share space in The Alpha Initiative I was immediately excited!  Then came thrilled, nervous, terrified, unsure and lastly the self-doubt that always seems to creep in when you’re asked to do something new or look at something from a new perspective was there staring back at me in the mirror.  As I thought about what it meant to be an alpha I went through a lot of definitions, terms and examples.  As I read and researched in the beginning I thought this doesn’t really apply to women.  We aren’t the more dominant gender, so why do we need to be alphas?  After all, the “alpha women” seemed to get poo-pooed and talked badly about, ostracized and avoided.  They seem to carry a connotation around that isn’t necessarily flattering.  I went back to the definitions, terms and examples because that just wasn’t sitting right with me.  

I began examining my own life; where I excel and where I have strength versus where I feel I flounder or am weak.  I began looking around at other women that I admire, looking for common characteristics and attributes.  I finally came to the realization that being the loudest, bossiest, most opinionated, most brazen woman was not really embodying what an alpha woman is even though society might have you believe that.  Those characteristics do belong, perhaps, to a more negative connotation that I won’t mention here.  (lol - be careful little eyes what you read..)  

After some more careful consideration I have found, in my opinion, what does define and belong to an alpha. Regardless of gender, male or female, being an alpha really is owning the space you’re in.  It’s dominating the tasks that are expected of you in your own uniquely created role.  

You can be mild and soft spoken and still be the alpha of your arena because your actions are on purpose, intense, deliberate, on time..  There is room for the more boisterous and vocal to be an alpha in their space; delegating, diligently working, expressing their concerns, ideas and successes.  There is room for all personality types to be an alpha.  It’s all in the execution of owning your space and knowing your role.  

There is also room for all personality types to fail with flying colors, burn their allies and find themselves alone.  

There are only a few “must haves” to denote that you are an alpha.  

One is that you are dominating the space you are in.  You are in charge of it, good and bad.   You are making the decisions that are best for all involved.  Sometimes that means you are loud and forceful and sometimes that means you quietly are working behind the scenes in gentle suggestions.  

Two is that you are courageous.  That does not mean that you are not afraid. It does mean that in the face of fear you will do what’s right and not back down.  You will say yes to the project, to the adventure, the journey, the work, the rest, all of it.  When you see that it is good for the group you are courageous and take on the challenge.    

Third, on my list of qualities an alpha must possess is humility.  If you are not humble, if you can not look to the good fo the group versus the glory for you, you are not an Alpha.  You are selfish.  Alphas are dominant in their space because they can see the needs as a whole, they can speak to the individuals and their needs within the group as well.  

Lastly, I would say that being an alpha comes with knowing your role.  There is something very powerful about someone knowing to stay in their lane; knowing when it’s okay to step in because there is a need versus micromanaging everyone around you; having your hand in everyone’s who, what, where, when and why is not an alpha move.  That’s insecurity and the need to control.  

And as a bonus, I would add that alpha and ego are not synonyms.  Being powerful and confident in your space does not mean that you are an egomanica with an inflated view of yourself.   

At the end of the day we all have our strengths and weaknesses, being an alpha allows you to realistically look at your own personality and know where you will exceed expectations and where you need to call in help. 

So to answer my own question, which was the title of this blog, I am woman, hear me… roar?  The answer is, no. 

No.  No, there will probably be far less roaring than one might think.  There will be far more hyper-vigilance towards continuity, far more care and concern, far more effort listening than speaking and far more work put in out of selfless love for the group you are Alpha to than anything else. 

I’m excited to dig in deeper to what “alpha” looks like in many different examples; motherhood, marriage, family, career and business, for yourself and so much more.  I hope we will go on this journey together learning and sharing and becoming the very best versions of ourselves for the spaces that we dominate.