Erik Bayer
Hello ya’ll. My name is Erik Bayer and I am a survivor that has progressed to one who is thriving, to becoming a warrior. I am a survivor of quite a bit of trauma and I didn’t know how much it would affect me till many years later. I am a survivor of some intense bullying. I am a survivor of an eating disorder, one I kept well hidden. I am a survivor of multiple child losses. I am a survivor from attempting suicide, and this Mother’s Day will mark 8 years of healing and growth. I am also a warrior, a warrior for those that need a microphone, more on that in a moment.
I grew up in a military family that moved almost yearly and didn’t know what a home was nor did I know what friends are. Yes I had “friends”, but I kept everyone at a distance because I didn’t know who I could trust. I wanted to be seen, but also wanted to be hidden. I turned to the fine arts as an outlet, the art of dance and then voice. I enjoyed the movement of dance and being able to tell a story, and be someone other than myself. However, this enjoyment and my confidence would diminish once I moved to Missouri.
I moved to Missouri in 8th grade with my parents' assurance that this was our final move. I held my breath. During the junior high and high school years I was bullied and harassed by many because I was different, I was a male that was also a dancer. I tried to put on a brave face daily but on the inside I was hurting, closing in. There were times when I wanted to end my life. What stopped me was my faith in Jesus Christ and then the woman of my dreams. The woman that I would marry 4 years later.
Fast forward to 2016 and you would see a very broken, lost, and lonely married man. Our twins were 5 years old and I was numb. I couldn’t feel anything. I had turned back to not eating and if I did I would go vomit. I focused on other people’s needs, smiling but literally dying on the inside. MThrough my counseling, myself and my wife have grown closer, trust has been restored, lots of forgiveness offered and accepted. I learned what home is and how safe it can be. For the first time in our marriage I was okay with staying home. My faith in Jesus has had its ebbs and flows but has continued to grow. I rediscovered my passion for dance and currently teach a few classes. Most importantly, I have learned to trust, accept myself and my story even if it is not one I enjoy sharing.
You’re probably are wondering when I will get to the microphone portion. Well since 2015, I have been volunteering my time with an organization that focuses on people on the other side of the world. The organization is Team World Vision and they focus on raising funds for clean water, health, and sanitation in many regions across the globe. I started this journey with them even while I was in a state of numbness. Team World Vision helps ordinary people do extraordinary things by running a full or half marathon. MY bucket list included running a half marathon. So I jumped in hyper focusing on raising funds and finding child sponsorships, all the while not really focusing on my own mental health.y marriage was in a tough place because of poor choices I made and I wasn’t able to take it any longer. So, I overdosed on medications while driving home from work. I came home, went inpatient, and have been seeing my counselor since.
When 2016 hit me over the head, this Team World Vision family is one who surrounded our family with support. They were instrumental on my journey towards healing and have become our family’s mission field. I have gained some wonderful people in my life that I can call friends and they helped me push through hard. Since our family joined the Team World Vision family, I have been able to run about 2 dozen half marathons, and about 5 full marathons and 1 of the largest 10K’s in the world in Ethiopia. Our family has been able to raise over $60,000 thus far and I don’t see our fundraising ending anytime soon. There still remains over 700 million persons that do not have access to safe clean life giving drinking water in sub saharan regions of Africa alone. It only takes $50 to give this gift to 1 person. A bigger impact is committing to sponsor a child for $39 a month or $468 a year, impacting more of their community. I could go on for much longer but I need to end it somewhere.
My heart's desire for those reading this is that I wholeheartedly want you to know You are Worth It! You Matter! I want to encourage others to find your passion as I have and run. I want the readers to know that yes I have made poor choices and been able to overcome them with Jesus’ help. I have had many wounds inflicted on me and have been able to overcome them with Jesus’ help and my counselor with Ampersand KC. I have been able to push through hard while training and running half and full marathons. You can make waves of change by just walking or running a 5K, 6K, 10K, half marathon, or even a full marathon.
To Travis, I want to say thank you. I want to say thank you for opening yourself up for others to hear offering encouragement and courage for others to tell their stories. Travis I have learned more about you in the past year than when in high school. Thank you Jess for being the other half of Travis offering a good balance and encouragement for many. Most of all I want to thank Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins and covering my poor choices with his blood.
